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Monday, February 14, 2011

22 Years Ago Yesterday

22 years ago yesterday, my beautiful, strong, wise, and
unconditional loving, Mother, suddenly died,

22 years ago yesterday, I cried, and I cried, and I cried.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, we celebrated you turning 60
on February 11,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, God, whispered to you, "Carnelia,
I now need you up in Heaven."

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, my life was changed for the worse
and not for the better,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I couldn't even imagine, I would
now be sitting here today, writing you this very long overdue,
"I Love You Letter."

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, in some of your final words, you told me you would always love me, to always keep my faith in God, to always try to do my very best, and to always try to stay strong,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I couldn't even bear to hear your final words to me, because in both my heart and mind, I knew all of this had to be one big terrible mistake, because it felt so very, very, wrong!

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, you told me that I really needed to start cleaning up my act, because someday, I would have a very special place and a divine destiny to fulfill,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I promised you that I would always
keep on trying to make you proud of me, but at this point in my
life, it is truly up to God's, love, grace, mercy and will.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, most of the world had never even heard of the Internet, Google, MySpace, Facebook or Twitter,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, you always told me, "Son never give up, on all of your hopes and your dreams, because your Dad and I, never raised you to be a quitter!"

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, my heart was broken and shattered into a million little pieces, and to this day, it has still never been healed or fully repaired,

22 years ago yesterday, I loss my beautiful, strong, wise, unconditional loving, Mother, to cancer, but to those of you who are currently hating on me because of Expotera, I am not even scared.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, God, in His, infinite wisdom, decided to suddenly end your all to short, yet truly inspirational and very courageous life,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, you died peacefully in your sleep,
without ever having the chance to meet, your Granddaughter, or
my future Ex-wife.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, "Valentines Day" along with all other holidays, really stopped meaning all that much to me,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I was so full of rage, disappointment,
and anger, a, "Happy Valentines Day" or a bright future without you,
I couldn't even begin to see.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, you promised me, that you would
always be there for me, and now sometimes, you even come to
visit me in my sleep,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I didn't say it to you back then, but I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for always keeping your promises and your word with me, and now, I sincerely pray the Lord, your Soul, He, will always keep!

22 years ago yesterday, a little baby boy, who had been abandon
by his unwed, teenage Mother, exactly one day after his birth,

22 years ago yesterday, suddenly loss the woman, who had taken
him in as a foster child, and had given his seemingly hopeless little
life, some much needed unconditional love and some tremendous self-worth.

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I never really fully understood or
appreciated, the true meaning of unconditional love, or even
knew what I truly had in you, until you were gone,

22 years ago yesterday, Mom, I will alway love you with all of my heart, and through me, your Granddaughter, and Expotera, your loving memory, your incredible spirit, and your lasting legacy, will always live, on and on and on.

Happy Valentines Day, Mom!!

Love You Always and Forever,

Tony

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