Confessions Of A Saint

Confessions Of A Saint

Via - Thomas Martini
By Benjamin Watson
November 26, 2014

At some point while I was playing or preparing to play Monday
Night Football, the news broke about the Ferguson Decision.

After trying to figure out how I felt, I decided to write it down.

Here are my thoughts:

I'M ANGRY because the stories of injustice that have been passed
down for generations seem to be continuing before our very eyes.

I'M FRUSTRATED, because pop culture, music and movies glorify
these types of police citizen altercations and promote an invincible
attitude that continues to get young men killed in real life, away
from safety movie sets and music studios.

I'M FEARFUL because in the back of my mind I know that although
I'm a law abiding citizen I could still be looked upon as a "threat"
to those who don't know me.

So I will continue to have to go the extra mile to earn
the benefit of the doubt.

I'M EMBARRASSED because the looting, violent protests, and law
breaking only confirm, and in the minds of many, validate, the
stereotypes and thus the inferior treatment.

I'M SAD, because another young life was lost from his family, the
racial divide has widened, a community is in shambles, accusations,
insensitivity hurt and hatred are boiling over, and we may never
know the truth about what happened that day.

I'M SYMPATHETIC, because I wasn't there so I don't know exactly
what happened.

Maybe Darren Wilson acted within his rights and duty as an officer
of the law and killed Michael Brown in self defense like any of us
would in the circumstance.

Now he has to fear the backlash against himself and his loved
ones when he was only doing his job. What a horrible thing to
endure.

OR maybe he provoked Michael and ignited the series of events
that led to him eventually murdering the young man to prove a
point.

I'M OFFENDED, because of the insulting comments I've seen that
are not only insensitive but dismissive to the painful experiences
of others.

I'M CONFUSED, because I don't know why it's so hard to obey
a policeman.

You will not win!!!

And I don't know why some policeman abuse their power.

Power is a responsibility, not a weapon to brandish and lord over
the populace.

I'M INTROSPECTIVE, because sometimes I want to take "our" side
without looking at the facts in situations like these.

Sometimes I feel like it's us against them.

Sometimes I'm just as prejudiced as people I point fingers at.

And that's not right.

How can I look at white skin and make assumptions but
not want assumptions made about me?

That's not right.

I'M HOPELESS, because I've lived long enough to expect
things like this to continue to happen.

I'm not surprised and at some point my little children are going
to inherit the weight of being a minority and all that it entails.

I'M HOPEFUL, because I know that while we still have race issues
in America, we enjoy a much different normal than those of our
parents and grandparents.

I see it in my personal relationships with teammates,
friends and mentors.

And it's a beautiful thing.

I'M ENCOURAGED, because ultimately the problem is not
a SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem.

SIN is the reason we rebel against authority.

SIN is the reason we abuse our authority.

SIN is the reason we are racist, prejudiced and lie to cover
for our own.

SIN is the reason we riot, loot and burn.

BUT I'M ENCOURAGED because God has provided a solution for
sin through the his son Jesus and with it, a transformed heart
and mind.

One that's capable of looking past the outward and seeing what's
truly important in every human being.

The cure for the Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and
Eric Garner tragedies is not education or exposure.

It's the Gospel.

So, finally, I'M ENCOURAGED because the Gospel gives mankind
hope.



Benjamin Watson is an American Professional Football Player for
the New Orleans Saints.